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Like. Love. Honour.

By October 16, 2014Uncategorized

Like vs Love

It is good that there be criticism of what we do from time to time, as that makes us think of how we can express our ideas better, correct our mistakes, and improve as we go.

In this regard we acknowledge the comments that have been made against our last blog, where we shared our thought on how we can honour others in a simple practice of keeping to the left when we use escalators so that those who wish to move faster could freely move on the right.  The comments basically make the point that this is a matter of courtesy and consideration, and not a matter of honour.

We heartily agree that such a practice indeed is a matter of courtesy and consideration, and hope that many of us will do so instinctively as part of our natural selves.  Nevertheless, honour does come into play, though it may not be so obvious at first thought.

To appreciate the point about honour, it is good that we be reminded to think again of what is the difference between “liking” and “loving” someone.

When we say we “like” something or someone, it means there is something about the thing or the person which pleases us.  When we say we “love” someone, it means we are thinking all the time about what we can do to help that someone or make that someone happy. 

When we “like” someone, the focus of interest is actually ourselves:  that someone is pleasing us.  When we “love” someone, the focus of interest is the other person.

So “liking” and “loving” are not the same:  the first is self-centred, the second is other-centred.

The same distinction can be understood about honour.  To honour someone is to hold the person in high regard.  Honour is what we offer the other person. 

We do this by showing respect, expressing care and concern, and thinking of what we can do which would be helpful or useful to the other person.  Most certainly this means demonstrating courtesy and consideration.

Honour lies behind the courtesy and consideration if the motivation for our action is our regard for the other person, because he or she is a fellow human being who can benefit from our thoughtful gesture. 

On the other hand, if we show courtesy and consideration because that is the social norm, it is good that we do so, even though honouring the other person may not be our motivation.

Whichever way it is, it is good that we do what we can each day to make life a little more pleasant for others, if we can.

 

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